My vision of my future is clouded by uncertainty. Uncertainty about where my life is going. I am tired of school. I am frustrated with school. It is so hard and feels overwhelming, but I have to keep going for my family. They are depending on me to succeed and set the example. There is a lot of pressure. The expectations set for me feel so high. I worry I won’t succeed. I often think about running away, running away from all of my problems and starting over. I care about those I love. I want to help everyone but it’s not time yet. My life is too unsettled, my future too unknown. The scar on my face shows that I have been hurt. Loneliness causes me pain. The hurt continues. I wonder if it will ever go away. I have a sense of longing, but I am not sure what I am longing for. I feel anxious. The sun represents positive thoughts. I try to think positive thoughts when negative thoughts creep in. Like the sun, my positive thoughts are powerful. They keep me going when things get stressful. When I am feeling stress, I look at the moon. It helps to calm me. It is my companion when I need to be alone and think. I am wearing a suit because I put up barriers. I don’t let others in. I don’t like to open up. When the conversation turns to me, I change the subject. I hide my sadness because I don’t want to burden others. Most of the time I put on a happy face, and carry on as if everything is okay. The lightning bolt represents my disappointment over the life cards I was dealt when I was young. Like a lightning bolt it was an unexpected and shocking jolt. It didn’t stop me, but the effects are long lasting. The hope in my heart kept beating. It is still beating but keeping that beat going has gotten much harder. Antonio age 17

I have two different personalities. I jump between them depending on how I feel. The character on the left shows my personality when I feel alone, not wanting or needing any attention. The background behind me on this side is blue because blue feels sad and lonely. When I am feeling alone, I think negatively. I focus on the bad parts of what I am going through. Grades add extra stress to my life. I journal excessively. I am uncertain about what I should do and the decisions I make. I worry about negative outcomes. This personality wears red. Red feels angry. When I am angry there is almost no point in trying to get me to cool down. The red headband is wrapped tightly around my head keeping all the angry thoughts in. The thoughts go around and around in my head. I don’t deal with them, instead I keep them all inside. The character on the right shows my positive side, my personality when I am in a good mood and feel joy and happiness. Yellow and green are colors that feel happy and joyful to me. When I am in a good mood, I think happy thoughts. I can smile through every situation I face. I am more confident in my choices. I believe they are right and beneficial. I am wearing a yellow headband. It represents my positive thoughts. When I am happy, I get jumpy and excited. I love listening to music and playing instruments. My happy, positive self leans in and pesters my unhappy self. I want to share my happiness with myself and others. Life isn’t fulfilling without a smile. Ashley age 13

My behavior is completely different depending on which parent I live with. My dad has not been a positive influence in my life. When I lived with him things quickly got worse. The fire in my eyes shows how the bad influence of my dad altered my view. Wrong became right and right became wrong. My dad hasn’t been there for me. At times he tried to be a good influence, but he really doesn’t know how to be a parent. He learned a lot of bad habits in his childhood. His dad wasn’t there for him either. Not having a dad I can depend on has left a sense of emptiness in my life. The swirling clock represents how time has gone by so quickly. My childhood will be over soon. I get very depressed because now I realize my dad is never going to be the father I wanted and needed. Sometimes I get very angry. In the past I couldn’t control my anger and I did destructive, hateful things. Now when I get angry, I can control it. Choosing to control my anger does not mean I am weak or afraid. I get aggravated when others think this control is weakness or fear. 734 is my dad’s area code. So many times when I called him the phone just rang and rang. He almost never answered. One time he didn’t even recognize my voice and asked who I was. Seeing those area code numbers brings back a flood of emotions. Sadness fills my heart. My mom is the light in my life. She shows her love in so many ways. Cooking for me is one of my favorite ways. Whenever I am sad or upset, she makes me empanadillas. My mom understands me better than I understand myself. She holds the key to my emotions. She knows when I am worried, sad, or depressed. She senses my feelings when I am quiet and gets me to talk about what is bothering me. She helps me understand my dad’s actions. My mom has a strong faith. She couldn’t have raised me without God’s help. It was not easy for her to raise me. The purple half of the cross represent how she teaches me about Christ through her example. The other half of the cross is the hole that is still there from my dad. It is dark and stormy. I am hoping with the help of my mom and others I can fill that void with God the Father. Jonathan age 14

The right side of my face shows my happy, hopeful side. Yellow is a happy color to me. It reminds me of the sun. I am hopeful that one day I can play professional basketball. The heart around my eye shows my love for others. I notice people that need love and I try to help them. If I see someone being bullied, I stick up for them. The heart on my forehead is stormy because I have never met my father and that makes me sad. I don’t know what happened to him. I wish he had been in my life. The other side of the heart has a little bit of sunshine. That sunshine is my mom. I want to see her, but she is very far away across the ocean and living in Haiti, a dangerous place. The rose floating on the water also represents my mom. The rose is red because my mom is strong. I hope she can stay safe. My heart is broken by everything that has happened to me. When I was in school in Haiti, I was abused every day because I had trouble learning. When I got an answer wrong, they beat me. The left side of my face shows my worry that I might not make it to my goals. I worry about other kids who are still going through what I went through. The hand with the cross shows my gratitude for God bringing me to Edgewood Children’s Ranch. I became a Christian here and that has changed my life. I am beginning to let go of all the bad things in my past. I am beginning to think positively about my future. If my ultimate dream of going to the NBA, I have a back-up plan. I can play basketball in college. The rainbow represents all the kind words of encouragement I am now hearing. That is helping me in school. Those kind words also help me when I worry. The lightning bolts represent my doubts and lack of confidence. The voice that tells me I can’t do it. I am getting more confident and learning to trust and believe in myself. Kensley age 14

My life is a long hard path that will lead me to heaven. Along this path I will face many obstacles and challenges. The images on the walls beside my path represent the feelings and emotions I will feel as I work to move forward when life is difficult. These emotions and feelings can stop me if I let them. I hope I don’t. The person holding the umbrella in the rain represents my sadness. I am often sad. This sadness can overpower me and force me into a bad mood. Grief for loved ones and feeling excluded have affected me badly, but I am trying to keep them from affecting my entire life. The empty chests represent disappointment and regrets. Sometimes I feel like I have worked super hard for nothing. This makes me feel like giving up. I no longer want to go the extra mile because I begin thinking I will do it all again for nothing. I regret spending so much time playing video games. There was so much more I could have done instead with that time. The crying eye represents hurt. People have hurt me intentionally and unintentionally. Rejection by friends, even close friends has hurt me. I was hurt the most by bullying in high school. Adults I thought I could trust sided with the bullies instead of me. After that I did not trust many adults and did not make many friends. The demon with red eyes represents fear. Fear in my opinion is the most powerful feeling of all. It is very hard to face your fears. Fear has kept me from moving on from the past. I fear if I trust anyone or make friends, I will end up in the same situation I endured in high school. There are two things that keep me going. The hand reaching for the treasure chest represents goals and motivation. Trying to reach goals keeps me motivated. The picture with the cross and Bible represents faith. I have recently come to trust Jesus and my life has become better. Trusting in Jesus has helped me to become a better person overall. It has given me hope. Faith in the Creator has helped me to continue moving forward despite facing difficult challenges. I am also more forgiving and patient. The path at first seemed endless and the world pretty gray the fear, sadness, disappoint-ment and hurt made life hard. My goals and motivation kept me going but they didn’t make me truly happy. It wasn’t until I met Christ that I started seeing hope and became more cheerful. The sunny day breaking through the gray background represents the hope I have gained.

Leon age 16

In the past I was controlled by my thoughts and emotions. The voice of evil spoke in my ears telling me to remember my regrets and failures and to hate the people who did wrong to me. I was anxious, depressed, angry, sad and in pain. I believed the lies and evil words that were spoken to me by those I loved. The people I loved were easily influenced by evil forces. They didn’t have the strength to resist it. Their difficult pasts had scarred them and left them enslaved by their injuries. Those injuries caused them to hurt me very badly. I was convinced that my life was never going to change. I felt that the depression, sadness, anger, fear, hate and paranoia would always be with me. I was always going to be a puppet on those destructive strings. Two years ago I said a few words that have made a difference. Those words are “Jesus make new of me.” From that moment on life was different for me. Out of darkness comes light. Out of night comes day. We need light to see. Jesus has shown me that light. With that light I am able to see my past without being blinded by its darkness. Now I understand that I can own that past but not let it control or hold me back. I am breaking the strings of the past that controlled me. Instead I am free of my own enslavement. There is an old saying – there is nothing new under the sun. Many others have been or will go through what I have experienced. Our fate depends on what master we serve. Some people have the strength to choose their masters, for others it’s beyond their strength. “The wolf you feed is the wolf you serve. ”I will feed the wolf of goodness, kindness and love. My past will be a testimony to others. I will use my pain to help others. I want those who are in pain to know they are not alone. God is always with us and loves us. He loves us so much that he sent his son to die for us. Remember Jesus loves me and you forever and let that love bring you strength. Yafi age 15

The blue side of my face represents the introverted, hidden part of me that is sad, crying and wants to be alone. Behind this part of my face there is a dark blue sky with stars and the moon because this side of me likes silence and the dark. There is a storm cloud in my head because my thoughts are unsettled. My mind is in turmoil. The storm cloud hides these thoughts. I hope that one day the storm clouds will lift, the sun will appear, and I will be at peace. There is a lock on my forehead. I have many secrets, horrible thoughts, memories and feelings. I don’t want anyone to know about them. I am afraid if I unlock that lock everything will come rushing out. I don’t feel I can trust anyone with the deepest parts of me. I am a talkative person, but there are certain things that are completely off limits. I keep those things in a box, and that box never opens! I have another box for things I will talk about. I am careful to keep the boxes separate. I compartmentalize. Sometimes I feel like two separate people. The bright colors show my creativity. My shirt is covered with puzzle pieces because I love putting puzzles together. I also like solving problems. I am a puzzle myself. I wonder if I will ever figure myself out. The puzzle is blank because so much of my life is still unknown. My heart is broken because someone who was so dear to me has hurt me. That wound is still pretty fresh, and it still hurts. The key to the lock in my head is in my heart. I feel that whoever mends my heart will be able to unlock the thoughts locked in my mind. Mending my heart will allow me to trust in them. I am smiling in my portrait because I have hope that my life in the future will be happy. Ziad age 15